I've known since about the third grade that I am, how you say, a LOSER! :)What does that mean, you may be asking yourself. Or maybe you're not asking that because you are and have always been popular so you know exactly what it means when somebody is a loser because you are part of the crowd that does the defining on all that good stuff. Either way. That is what I was labled. That is how it went down.
So what does it mean to be a loser. Well, I think it may vary a bit from person to person, but there is a common theme for sure. Basically you get left alone by most people.
For me it was like this.
New girl wears purple corderoys, doesn't flip her hair, and wants to play tag.... yeah, loser! Oh yeah, plus there's six kids in her family and their mormons. Need we say more???
I didn't like being a loser when I was a kid because I didn't know what it really meant to be one.
What does it mean to be a loser? Freedom when you finally understand it.
If I could, I would go back and do it all over again with this knowledge in hand. I wouldn't be nearly so ashamed of myself. It woulda been like this:
It's so nice that I don't have to go to the bathroom when all the other girls get up to go. I'm glad they don't stare and clear their throats at me like I'm supposed to understand that. I can just stay right where I'm at and finish what I'm eating. If they ever do look at me, all they're ever gonna get is: "What, did you forget where it was?"
I can listen to whatever music I want to. "Oh you hate that song cuz its so dorky? Uh... so? Am I supposed to care that you just told me that? I am dorky bit--. What!? I listen to what I want."
I can eat whatever I want. "Eeeeew, that looks like throw up. You just ate throw up! What a loser!"
"Yep. Mmmmm chips and throw up, ssss-good!"
I can drip it on my shirt too, and I don't gots ta worry none at all... Seee???
I don't have to run to the bathroom to "freshen up" my make up or hair or whatever the hell girls do in the bathroom for sooooooo long. That one kinda goes along with the don't have to get up when they do thing.
I don't have to worry if I've got the hair toss thing down. I'd rather pick a wedgie.
I don't have to worry if anybody saw me pick that afore mentioned wedgie. "What?!"
I don't have to wear the right shoes with my dress that I'm not putting on to begin with.
I don't have to worry about wearing the wrong kind of make-up.
I don't have to worry if the boys don't like my boobies cuz their small.
I never have to try to think of something "cool" to say, I can just say what I really think.
I don't have to be friends with anyone I don't want to so people will think I'm so great or whatever.
I don't have to keep tabs for the rest of my life on those afore mentioned friends that I didn't bother to make.
There's a lot of things I don't have to do, and things I get to do that you cool kids can't (even if you secretly think it looks like fun. ) Don't want people to think you're a loser, now, do we? No you can not slide down the school stairs on a cardboard box. But I can weeeeeeee!!!
Instead I spent most of my time ashamed of my lable and not appreciating it nearly enough.
I do that sometimes today too, but then I remember and I smile and pick a wedge. :)
16 years ago
